I have always liked the word grace. In fact, I have said that I would name my future daughter Grace. The word just reminds me of how undeserving I am of Gods favor, yet he chooses to freely give it to me.
Accepting grace is often hard, sometimes we are too proud to receive the free grace from God. We live in a society where nothing is free; we do favors for people with the expectation that they would return the favor sometime in the future, and every now and then that transcends into our relationship with God.
I have always struggled with accepting things from people without having the means to pay back or at least earning the favor and of course this is no less reflected in my relationship with God. I find that the more grace God pours on me, the harder it is for me to “repay” him and so I begin to freak out, which generally leads to me attempting to hide from God.
I am currently reading a book entitled ‘Blue Like Jazz’ and the author Donald Miller whom I think is a very brilliant writer spoke on this issue and I really liked how he came to understand why he had so much trouble with accepting grace. He said ” I love to give charity, but I don’t want to be charity. This is why I have so much trouble with grace” pg. 84.
To love and to be loved go hand in hand. One has to be willing to give love and receive as well. This is exactly what the relationship with the father is like. He loves us and he shows us by having mercy on us and favoring us even when we don’t deserve it therefore we need to be willing to be loved by God and to receive what he so freely gives us, this is the only way I believe that we can truly love and obey him.